in search of THE PROJECT

holy moly, i must start with an apology again. sorry if you've been checking in for nothing new. i have been busy, searching in vain for MY NEXT PROJECT.
and i have realized what i should have known from the beginning: if you go searching, you're sure not to find it.

doing the Blood and Fire project was a beautiful experience, from beginning to uh, middle - can't say "end", as it continues to thrive. but almost as soon as the writing was over, i was looking for the next one. mistake.

you see, the Project didn't start out as the Project. it started with a song, inspired by another song which screamed at me to write a rebuttal. a few years later, it was still just a song. a good song, and people responded well to it. a few asked if i had others up my sleeve.

then my buddy Kevin Kelly gave me a couple of things - the definitive book (my blog, my opinion) on the subject, "The Donnelly Album", and an Appalachian mountain dulcimer. he liked the original song, thought i might like to read a bit more on the subject. the dulcimer he inherited by being the only one in his guitar store to know what the hell it was when a lady dropped it off, hoping for a good home. thanks lady - it's safe and well cared for.

one obsession, a year, and nine songs later, i had the music for the Project. there was a song played on the dulcimer. there was a song called "Kevin Kelly's Lament for Bridget Donnelly". not surprisingly, they are my two favourite songs in the show. thanks Kevin.

so it worked out very well for me. only natural that i should think that perhaps i should do it again. what i didn't take into account was how much serendipity had been involved in making the first one happen.

i thought all i needed was a subject that i felt the same way about, ie. a Canadian story to be told in more detail than most folks had been taught.

and i thought i had it - The Group of Seven! interesting characters, revered and villified for their groundbreaking portraits of the Canadian landscape. mysterious deaths, love triangles, performance art in women's tights...

so i started reading, just like with The Donnelly Album. not.

after a few weeks of perusing some very interesting stories and anecdotes, and revisiting some of my favourite paintings, i realized it was only an academic exercise. there was no way i would be able to write a project with my lukewarm response to the material.

i had been grasping at straws, instead of being grabbed by the balls. i won't say i was wasting my time, but i would have enjoyed the paintings and stories more had i not been trying to suck some inspiration out of them.

it's like the muse thing - if you wait for her to show up, you're screwed. if you try to force her to show herself, you're screwed. you have to show up yourself, write for the sake of writing, find inspiration in the everyday, be patient with the BIG STUFF.

i knew that. so what the hell was i doing?

ah well, better late than not at all. i relaxed, got back to writing one song at a time, tried to be ready should the big one appear in its glory.

and something happened. there's no way i could tell you without it turning in to a much bigger thing than it was. it was huge and tiny at once. enough to weave a thread through my next few songs. natural enough. i was going through something, i wrote about it.

then it was my birthday. lunch backstage at the Mariposa Folk Festival, my beautiful friend Susan, whom i call Suse-my-muse, because she is (and she calls me her "party spirit", because i am), gives me a book. not a book. THE book. this book, one, makes me realize that i have already begun The Project, and two, is full of thousands of ideas which i could riff on to complete many projects.

i'm trying to be calm as i read through it. i'm not marking it, but i will the second time through, which i know will begin as soon as i'm done the first read.

i am also not telling you what the Project is, because i am extremely superstitious when it comes to these things. and a little abashed after telling some folks that The Group of Seven thing was happening.

wish me luck.

writing en masse

first, my apologies for being absent lo these forty days and nights. i had a flood of things going on. still, no excuse.

Jen asked at our last BADAS/S meeting if i would be free the following thursday to run a songwriting workshop with a grade eight class in Elmvale, through Stellula Music in the Schools. i checked my schedule and jumped at the opportunity - to do what i love, and get paid for it.

i had no idea what to do, of course. an hour-and-a-half at the end of a school day with a large group of 13-year olds? daunting to say the least. i couldn't do any of my usual gigs in so short a time, and it sounded like the teacher, Mrs. Blue (!) wanted hands-on work, especially with language.

i mulled. same way i write songs - let a stone of an idea roll around in my head until it picks up some moss that can grow into something. didn't have to roll very far, as the answer was right there - the songwriter's brain.

each of us in the class (the music portable, or "skull") would be a separate part of the brain of the writer coming up with a song. kids with different strengths and personalities could each make their contribution.

they hadn't learned about the workings of the brain, so i invited them into three groups - the creative side, the organizing side, and the messengers integrating the two.

we started with a phrase - after a couple of silly suggestions from the opening exercise (where they wrote one page, stream-of-consciousness style - my usual place to start), a young lad came up with a brilliant line - "I wish i were a ghost".

Jennifer took charge of the lyricists, and i the composers, with a talented girl sat at the piano. Mrs. Blue had the list-writers working on rhymes and the restless boys keeping us to our 4/4 rhythm.

and we almost got it finished in ninety minutes - three verses of a pretty cool lyric, a melody that was intricate enough that i had a hard time learning it right away, and a fitting dirge-like chord structure.

we had no time to talk about editing, which was fine because it is literally the last thing you want to do when you're busting your creative gut. but the song was missing the last few lines, and we hadn't figured out whether it would be resolved, and if so, into what.

i kept working on it that evening, but didn't really come up with anything until i put it aside and relaxed against the pillow.

the end breaks the pattern of the previous verses, in order to resolve the work.
see what you think:

I WISH I WERE

i wish i were invisible
i wish i were a ghost
i could walk through walls
when all my doors are closed

ghosts are never hungry
ghosts are never scared
ghosts don't do a thing they're told
even if they're dared

i wish i were a dragon
breathing fire through air
i could live forever
and never have to care

dragons don't say "sorry"
to any they despise
dragons do just what they want
and don't apologize

i wish i were a hero
to each day save a life
using superpowers
through all my days and nights

a hero never skips a day
a dragon never sleeps
a ghost is mostly dead
but i am what i can be
i am what i can be.



looking at it, i realize that i got into their brains more than they did mine. if you had never spent any time with a latent teenager, you would now have a pretty good idea what goes on in their heads.

and they said it very well. i hope they like the changes i made. i altered a few words, mostly for rhythm and rhyming purposes, as well as deciding how to end it.

i recorded it the next night at Don's place, and i'm just waiting while he works out a slide guitar part as the finishing touch. then i can deliver it to the school and wait to hear what they think.
maybe they will perform it at their graduation next month.

and hopefully Jen will have some new recruits for her songwriters' club at the high school across the road in September.

thanks for hangin' in and comin' back.

what shall i write about?

we had our writers' bloc meeting last night. after the songs were played and critiqued, pal Susan led us through an exercise taken from Julia Cameron's The Right to Write.

it's a simple way to find out what you're presently, or generally, interested in. if you're asking yourself what in the world you should write about, it can be very revealing.

here it is:

1. Which three topics do you most read about?
2. Which three topics do you most think about?
3. List five of your favourite books.
is/are there (a) theme(s) running through them?
4. List five of your favourite movies.
themes?
5. What is your favourite fairy tale?
what makes it your favourite?
6. What was your favourite book as a child?
what makes it your favourite?

take a few minutes for each point. don't agonize over your choices - go with your gut. then go through them all and find the threads of what interests you and moves your imagination.

when in doubt, those are the things you should write about.

my common threads were crime, love, and history. duh!

enjoy. let me know if it worked for you.

WELCOME TO MY BRAIN

this is the fair and mighty Alyssa, a brilliant cellist, singer and songwriter, and a great friend. she volunteered to lead an exercise at the last meeting of our songwriters' group (B.A.D.A.S/S.), and it was a beaut.

it was taken from Laraine Herring's Writing Begins With the Breath - embodying your authentic voice.

Lyssy asked us first to write freely for fifteen minutes on one of the assigned prompts (no choice - do what you're told):

1. When i am at a crossroads, I...

2. Change means...

3. Fear means...

4. Risk means...

this was just to get us started. we would not have to share any of this with the group.

i got number two. i will share with you, so you might see how my mind works on things in the very early stages. i like to call it "thoughtbusting":

future collapses with each breath, each step, each going in to, fray or glory or both. others change you - you change for others. others of mothers you'd like to be brothers. your family grows, CHANGES, new roles that are old roles changed.

underline words go ahead in thought and deed and spreading whatever light you can generate, from the change in your energy. flat tire, barbed wire, sailing calm and beaten by wind, take your shoes off, get a grip, and change what you thought would be.

but it's not good when it takes other folks to point out that you've changed. jaysus, figure it out, you're the one living with yourself, get a grip and get on out.

out is where you figure out where you want to be, caught in a web of friends so when you go in to colour your skin show the world the change is free

and 15 minutes is up.

Lyss then asked us to identify an abstract idea, to be turned into a concrete image which we would expand on for another fifteen, this time to share with the group.

abstract: change is inevitable. go with it

concrete: change is a river.

crash and fall, return to the mother, a home for the fleet of fin and diggers who go without breathing. at the end of it all you know is the sea, no coming back after the flood.

it's the moon again, chains the tide and marks the days with its comings and goings, waxing, waning, disappearing on the change.

how can one not move on, in the country of seasons? everywhere is proof of faith, things die and regenerate to days of glory and sun-scudded sky

and 15 minutes is up.

a simple and brilliant exercise, and one that i will certainly borrow for my classes and workshops. if you only had time for one, this would be it.

it covers so much - abstract, concrete, free flow and more thoughtful writing, private and public.

one thing we realized was that the prompts weren't important in themselves, and were almost interchangeable. but it's good to have an assignment to give you some focus. it's much easier to write something than it is to write anything.

reworking

as a rule, i don't rework my old songs, but i think it's time to try.

my book of songs is split in two, basically the good and the not-so-good. i was surprised to find the one i'm thinking of in the front half. i don't play it often, because it seems to fall flat when i do. but i think its potential is what made me put it with the "good". i really want it to work.

it's a song i wrote from my wife's perspective, a rather ambitious notion at the time, and a bit of a stretch. risk is good.

it started with a simple, killer chorus, the main idea:

"Don't say goodnight - say everything is gonna be all right".

and there's the problem. i'm an acoustic roots player, and it's a rock chorus. hell, even now i can hear the explosive horn section.

when i look at the song as a whole, it's pretty good. maybe what i need to change is HOW, not WHAT. do it more gently, without the bombast i hear in my head. hey, it's cheaper than hiring a backup band every time i want to play that one song.

and it's supposed to be from Deb's point of view. she's not the rockin' shout-it-from-the-rooftops kind of gal. it should suit her style as well as tell something of her story.

it's entirely possible that the lyric will need reworking as well, once it's done differently. probably best to try it out, see if it simply FEELS better, and then adjust the words to better fit the new mood. yes. i think so.

hey, thanks for listening. you've been a great help. if you've got another 3:47 to spare, close your eyes and listen to this. tell me what you think.

"The walls are spinning madly off in every known direction
The sanity that's with me still is in need of your protection
It won't take much to help me out, love and trust and patience
A few words at the right time could be my salvation
Don't say goodnight - say everything is gonna be all right

The book i write consumes me, i'm disappearing ink
Omen crows and deadlines loom in shadows, i can't think
The geometric tangle is of my own design
Life and Art don't imitate, here they intertwine
Don't say goodnight - say everything is gonna be all right

I know the work is worth it
Its beauty i conceive
I know my life is better still
Still i don't believe

Sometimes i forget to breathe, colours pull me in
A sea of grace so deep, i sink until i swim
And swim until i'm grounded on your foreign shore
Lift me up and take me home, and promise me once more
Everything is gonna be all right
Everything is gonna be all right
Everything is gonna be all right."

this just in...

breaking news from the Mariposa Folk Festival front, where the battle is ever waged to bring the best of entertainment and education to an expanding demographic.

this year, for the first time ever, you can get an early start on a great festival by taking part in Mariposa Arts U, two days of fun and creative classes with experienced, friendly instructors.

two sessions each are scheduled in Singing, with the entirely wonderful Alyssa Wright, and in Photography. single sessions are offered in Printmaking with the very accomplished Juliana Hawke, and in Songwriting, with none other than... me.

i'm very excited to be a part of this. the committee getting it together is fantastic - hard-working, dedicated, and positive. co-sponsors Mariposa and Lakehead University are heavy hitters in Orillia's cultural scene. the dream is to expand over the next few years to become a major summer school of the arts.

it's a case of being in the right place at the right time. in my last post, i mentioned the triumphant return of Mariposa to its original home, forty years after it began. i was part of a folk band called Alex, which morphed into the Orillia Folk Society, and whose members were the driving force behind discussions which led inexorably to the festival's return to Orillia.

i can't take much credit for that. while most of the band was involved in The Big Show, and all the bureaucracy that entailed, others of us were happy to grow the folk society, hanging out at weekly song circles and discovering the best of Canadian folk talent at our monthly concerts.

when Mariposa returned in 2000, the folk society offerred equipment and personnel to run the Open Stage. soon after, we were asked to put on songwriting workshops at the Interactive Stage. what would become Arts U was the dream of a wonderful woman who ran the latter. it's been a few years since we started talking about it, but there was a very distinct feel - that it was only a matter of time before it came to be. it was supposed to happen in 2008, but circumstances conspired...

it was a disappointment, but we all learned a great deal from its loss. folks were naturally a bit gun-shy, but as soon as we got together in the fall to decompress, it was obvious the passion to make it happen was still there, and renewed confidence.

so pencil us in, in ink, on your calendar. Thursday evening July 2, Friday July 3, 2009. my class is 2 1/2 hours, slated for Friday afternoon. 24 bucks early registration (by May 24 - it's the two-four special!)

there may also be some sort of meet-the-teacher night in the spring at the Mariposa office. stay tuned.

Get Away!

i live to build community. and although that sounds like a noble and selfless thing to do, it hasn't really been like that.

when there was no discernible folk scene in our home town, the band i was in started up a Folk Society. now we have a weekly song circle where i can showcase my writing, make friends, and jam with them. and a concert series where we get to hear the best of rising Canadian talent, make friends, and jam with them.

i see a pattern developing...

when my best friend and i were suffering from a huge case of writer`s block, after co-writing a fabulous song, we started up a writer`s bloc. the next month, we were both writing again, getting together with helpful friends and...

when the Mariposa Folk Festival returned to its ancestral home, thanks in large part to the work of the aforementioned band and Folk Society, i volunteered our bloc to lead songwriting workshops, where we spread the love, made friends, and...

when i needed to supplement my meager income, i started teaching evening songwriting courses through Parks and Rec., where i widened my reputation, made money and friends...

when the bloc was firmly established, i realized it was, by necessity, a closed group. i wanted some way to share what we were doing with a larger community, make new friends...

i had also been working with my buddy David at a beautiful local outdoor education centre, which at some point came to be the setting for our shared dream of a winter weekend of fun and learning and healthy physical activity with our current and brand new friends. and jamming.

i introduced the idea to the bloc, who gave me unanimous support. so we booked the lodge, spread the word, lined up volunteers to lead workshops, and hoped we could entice enough people to drop a very reasonable $120 so we could meet expenses.

well, we did, just. and one weekend in the middle of January 2007, we all came together for an amazing time of shared music and joy. complete strangers became fast friends. atheists joined in the sunday gospel session.

the name, and the whole idea of the weekend was `D.I.Y.` Do It Yourself. we didn`t bring in big names, or outside experts. and it was fantastic.

i guess that`s my entire raison d`ètre: if you want something to happen, it`ll probably be quicker, and more to your liking, if you do it yourself.

i spent a lot of years complaining about things not happening, waiting, wishing. what a waste.

as soon as i started these little projects, i knew there were a bunch of people who would prop me up and support anything i tried, and thank me for doing it for them.

so now i`m in the middle of a beautiful, thriving community of musicians and listeners, that i`ve helped to grow. the folk society celebrated fifteen years this week. the writers`bloc is in its seventh. Mariposa nine. my Parks and Rec classes have expanded to sessions for teenagers as well as adults. i`ve started performing and teaching songwriting in public schools. the DIY weekend three weeks ago was the third annual, and by far the best ever.

selfless and noble, you might think. a bit of it, i guess, but mostly i did it because i wanted it to happen.